The Undaunted
Submitted by Book Nut
by Gerald N. Lund
ages: adult
First sentence: “David Dickinson’s eyes were wide open.”
Review copy sent to me by someone at By Common Consent because I volunteered for this torture.
Five ways to ruin a historical novel:
5. Write in dialect: “It be joost fur me, Dah?” If I have to read it aloud to understand it, it’s not worth my time.
4. Too much historical detail, not enough plot. “These full-sized coal carts were four feet wide and eight feet long and could hold the contents of six of the small coal tubs. That was about four tons of coal each. The carts had wheels and axles formed from a single piece of steel. This meant the two wheels did not turn independently, nor did they have an independent braking system. This was where the spraggers come in. If a car got rolling too fast down a grade, it would jump the tracks and smash into the wall.” I really don’t care that much about mining practices in England in the mid-19th century anyway. I swear about 500 pages of this book could have been axed. (Granted, I only made it through the first 50, but I’m just sayin’.)
3. Too much narrative exposition, not enough action. “David still hesitated. He liked Albert Beames, or Bertie, as most of the trappers called him. He was a bit odd looking, with freckles hidden beneath the layers of coal dust, and teeth that were prominent enough that some of the older boys called him Beaver Beames. Bertie was a year older than David and about a stone heaver* [yep, that was footnoted] He was totally devoid of ambition and was baffled by David’s continual talk of becoming a hurrier.” Three words for you: Show. Don’t tell.
2. Having a Message. Okay: I get it. They were Brave and Noble and Faithful. It’d be nice if they were interesting characters, too.
And the number one way to kill a historical novel:
1. Footnotes and endnotes. Puh-lease. It’s fiction, not a textbook. If I really cared what Yorkshire Pudding or Turkish Delight was I’d Google it.
I knew there was a reason I never read LDS fiction.
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